#1611 · added 11 July 2010 · vote up / 2 / vote down - from #social
<Cookiemonster> WTF, Narriator is still talking even after closing the window
<AllegedLunatic> is it talking to you?!
<AllegedLunatic> is it telling you to...kill someone?!?!?!
<Cookiemonster> No
<AllegedLunatic> phew
<Cookiemonster> I don't think my computer is possesed
<Cookiemonster> ..or is it?
<Sheldrake> My computer was possessed
<Sheldrake> Every night at around 11:00PM, it would start playing some music, a viagra ad, or some sports game
<Sheldrake> Even if I closed all the windows, it would still play
<Sheldrake> Turns out it was a virus, but it still creeped me out :/
<FurryPanda> the cure for possession of a computer is holy water
<Sheldrake> Yep
<Sheldrake> Dunk it into a tub full of holy water
<Sheldrake> Problem solved
<FurryPanda> you tilt it so the USB port or CD drive is parellel to the ground, and then dump holy water in
<Sheldrake> Well....THAT problem is solved :P
<Cookiemonster> It breaks your computer, ending in you needing to get a new one
<FurryPanda> you will see the sparks of divine redemption
<Sheldrake> Hehe
<FurryPanda> it is appropriate, but unnescessary, to sing a hymn here
<FurryPanda> once the sparks of divine redemption go away, and you have dealt with any divine fire damage, you can then reactivate the computer
<FurryPanda> and there shall be a heavenly chord (assuming you changed the setting for "OMG ALARM BEEP" to "heavenly choir"
<FurryPanda> and there shall be a beautiful blue expanse, with blocky white text
<Cookiemonster> And it shall be known as Bliss
<FurryPanda> and you shall know the love of thy lord, for your computer shall hiss and make mechanical whining
<FurryPanda> and there's more, but most people replace their computers (and desks) at this point
#1613 · added 15 July 2010 · vote up / 6 / vote down - from #create
<grillcheesesammi> goat semen works too, but its hard to cum by
<grillcheesesammi> come*
#1614 · added 17 July 2010 · vote up / 3 / vote down - from #social
<&whiterider> Avast! + Malwarebytes + HijackThis! = A chav in a filing cabinet
#1615 · added 20 July 2010 · vote up / 9 / vote down - from #social
[18:11] * Frenchie wiggles around. 12 minutes.
[18:12] <elpemmy> 12 minutes til what?
[18:12] <&HystericalParoxysm> Judging by the wiggling, till someone gets out of the bathroom so he can pee
[18:13] <Frenchie> Till I can hopefully kill a bunch of aliens
[18:13] <&HystericalParoxysm> By peeing on them?
[18:14] <Frenchie> HP: Jarate on aliens? The idea has potential...
[18:16] <&HystericalParoxysm> Wait wait.
[18:16] <&HystericalParoxysm> THAT'S what jarate means?!
[18:16] <&HystericalParoxysm> EWW
[18:17] <elpemmy> you didn't know, HP?
[18:17] <&whiterider> What did you *think* was in the jar?
[18:17] <&HystericalParoxysm> I HAD NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANT I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE DORKY KARATE OMG
[18:17] <Frenchie> HystericalParoxysm, http://www.tf2.com/sniper_vs_spy/images/07_comic_large.jpg
[18:17] <Frenchie> READ
[18:17] <&HystericalParoxysm> YOU'VE BEEN THROWING PEE AT PEOPLE THIS WHOLE TIME WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
[18:18] <Frenchie> It's not pee throwing. It's a very refined Australian martial art.
[18:18] <&Lethe> it's pee, french
[18:18] <&Lethe> let's be honest here
[18:18] <&Lethe> i'm mostly amused at hp not knowing about it
[18:18] <Frenchie> So am I :p
[18:18] <&HystericalParoxysm> YOU CLEARLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU JUST USED "AUSTRALIAN" AND "REFINED" TOGETHER IN THE SAME SENTENCE
[18:18] <Frenchie> When we've been talking about Jarate for ages
[18:18] <Frenchie> Like, more than a year
[18:19] <&HystericalParoxysm> NOBODY SENT ME THE MEMO GOING "OH YEAH GUYZ JARATE MEANS JARS OF PEE THROWN AT YOU"
[18:19] * Frenchie patpats HystericalParoxysm :3
[18:19] <&HystericalParoxysm> WHY DIDN'T I GET THE GODDAMNED MEMO??
[18:19] * Frenchie also offers her a sandvich
[18:19] <&HystericalParoxysm> I DO NOT WANT YOUR SANDVICH IT IS PROBABLY MADE OF ASSHAIR
#1617 · added 21 July 2010 · vote up / 3 / vote down - from query
[17:34] <cthru> SHEESH
[17:34] <cthru> I'm the PROTAGONIST
[17:34] * cthru dramatically waves her hair
#1618 · added 22 July 2010 · vote up / 6 / vote down - from #social
<Loaf> Aychpee, we can't hate our favourite hipster
<Djones> HEY
<Djones> WAIT.
<Djones> I thought i was your favourite hipster?
<Loaf> erm.
<Djones> I'm sadfacing so hard right now.
<Loaf> you...are?
<Djones> :(
<Aychpee> Wait, so hipster is code for douchebag now?
<Djones> Touche.
<Aychpee> No, douche.
#1619 · added 9 August 2010 · vote up / 5 / vote down - from #supersecretsocialchannel
<Renske> ... J is trying to test the hamster's eyesight by rearranging his cage and waiting for him to bump into things.
<Safyre420> lol
<Renske> *rearranging the interior décor of his cage
<Renske> sadly, the hamster is not interested and is lounging in his igloo with his giant balls and back legs hanging out.
<Renske> his legs are shorter than his balls.
<Safyre420> lol
<Renske> when he waddles around it's like he's dragging a furry grocery bag.
<Safyre420> how male
<Renske> if he had pants, he would stick his paw down them.
<Safyre420> that'd be even more male
<Renske> sometimes he sits on his butt with his balls in front of him, kneading and licking them.
<Safyre420> lol
<Renske> i love him :D
<Safyre420> aren't you glad human males can't do that?
<Renske> i'm sure glad that human males dont have balls that are about 1/5 of their body size.
<Safyre420> lol
<Renske> they would look awkward in jeans
<Safyre420> that'd be a hell of a ball slapping on the ass lol
<Renske> and then how would we get to enjoy a nice butt?
<Renske> they would all wear man-skirts. and then it would be bye bye butt ogling.
<Renske> and also the penis would look sad in comparison.
#1620 · added 9 August 2010 · vote up / 7 / vote down - from #supersekritstaffchannel
<jhd1189> A bacon, egg and cheese McGriddle? EXCELLENT
<Misty> I'd eat that.
<CalmFish> Would be a monster hit
<HystericalParoxysm> Man. "I'd eat that" and "Would be a monster hit" blended together in my brain to "I'd hit that!" and I was wondering when Misty suddenly became a food fetishist.
<jhd1189> Giving new meaning to their ad campaign "I'm lovin' it"
#1621 · added 11 August 2010 · vote up / 9 / vote down - from #social
<emino|cougartown_> YAY!
<emino|cougartown_> FASTING TIME OVER
<emino|cougartown_> hmm
<emino|cougartown_> food or porn first
<emino|cougartown_> ?
* Lethe|workworkwork blinks
<emino|cougartown_> food
<whiterider> And Emi gets completely into the spirit of ramadan and purity, like a pro
#1622 · added 11 August 2010 · vote up / 6 / vote down - from #social
<cthru> it's MY vagina, and I have every right to be mad at it!
#1624 · added 15 August 2010 · vote up / 5 / vote down - from #theothersocial
<Lethe|workworkwork> so, no robbing banks with a vibrator
<Djones> Man
<Lethe|workworkwork> bummer
<Djones> That's my new years plan scuppered.
#1628 · added 24 August 2010 · vote up / 3 / vote down - from #sekritclubhouse
<TFrenchie2> So, the bird in my house yesterday... I think it was a bat
<Renske> how could you make that mistake??
<TFrenchie2> Ren, it was small and black
<TFrenchie2> And it flew around
<TFrenchie2> And it was in the dark
<Lethe> ufo?
<Aychpee> Technically, yes.
<ren|awaaay> wiiiings that flap in the niiiiight
* ren|awaaay hums
<Aychpee> Frenchie was invaded by Darkwing Duck?
<ren|awaaay> yes.
<ren|awaaay> or rather, his french uncle
<ren|awaaay> Canard Ailes Noires.
<ren|awaaay> HON HON HON
<ren|awaaay> or rather... LE QUACK
#1629 · added 25 August 2010 · vote up / 1 / vote down - from #social
<elpemmy> I promised myself I'd start moving my body cock back in time for term to stary
<elpemmy> err
<elpemmy> *clock
* elpemmy does not have a cok!
<elpemmy> *cokc
<elpemmy> *COCK GODDAMMIT
<whiterider> emmy's cock is out of time?
<Blade26623> lol
<whiterider> emmy has a Time Cock!
<Blade26623> no wonder he's mad
<Blade26623> LMFAO
<elpemmy> She, Blade, please.
<Blade26623> O.o
<elpemmy> I have no cock to call my own
<elpemmy> let alone a time travelling one :(
#1630 · added 25 August 2010 · vote up / 5 / vote down - from #spaghetti
<Renske> whitey got a quite elaborate depiction of a beaver getting logs for his birthday.
<Renske> while thinking about a sports car.
<Renske> or something...
<Frenchienoms> :o
<cthru> aaaaaw
<cthru> :3
<Renske> i didnt feel particularly inspired about the theme 'moving to the netherlands'
<whiterider> Eheheh
<Renske> so i drew beavers.
<whiterider> It was a very nice beaver
<Renske> why thank you i do take pride in my nice beaver.
<Renske> s.
<whiterider> Now there's a sentence in the plural that you don't hear very often
#1631 · added 25 August 2010 · vote up / 2 / vote down - from #social
<missangelica> I seriously don't look at male feet unless they are wearing clown shoes.
#1632 · added 26 August 2010 · vote up / 7 / vote down - from #social
<missangelica> And who is the poor, unfortunate soul that will get to be Jar Jar?
<Djones> Deejar deejar knows that yous is deejars friend!
<Loaf> i will dump you if you ever do that in my presence
<Loaf> just so you know.
<Djones> Totally reasonable.
#1634 · added 31 August 2010 · vote up / 5 / vote down - from #social
<miniemmy> OMG I SAW MY FIRST REAL LIVE PENIS TODAY
<miniemmy> it was on a horse
<miniemmy> though
<cthru> ...
<&Lethe> ...
<cthru> ems
<&Lethe> sweetheart
<miniemmy> felt you needed to know that
<cthru> horses have HUGE ones
<&Lethe> don't get your hopes up
<cthru> don't get dissapointed
* cthru highfives Lethe
#1635 · added 1 September 2010 · vote up / 3 / vote down - from #social
[20:59] <Lethe> annnd i'm looking at vibrators
...
[22:35] <curlybap> for some reason, my head read, "i'm looking at vibrators" in roy from the it crowd's voice
#1636 · added 1 September 2010 · vote up / 4 / vote down - from #social
<Sheldrake> Where the fuck am I supposed to get $89.99 + S&H?
<Renske> Sex and Help?
<Renske> those ARE the two things you need the most.
<Sheldrake> And how am I supposed to get it when I only have $40.04 in the bank and no income until october or november?
<Sheldrake> >.<
<Sheldrake> No, shipping and handling, silly
<Renske> and 89.99 isnt much for a hooker.
<Renske> you're shipping a hooker?
<Renske> arent there any local ones?
<Sheldrake> Piss off, I'm in a glass cage of emotion right now
<miniemmy> also paying someone else to handle a hooker seems sort of counter intuitive
#1637 · added 6 September 2010 · vote up / 12 / vote down - from #????
* SilentPsycho has joined
* SilentPsycho pokes frazzmeister
<frazzmeister> hmm
* SilentPsycho throws frazzmeister into the Pit of Pickles and Pancakes and Doom
<frazzmeister> eep
<frazzmeister> what did I do?
<SilentPsycho> I had a weird freaky dream, and you were the main character in it
<SilentPsycho> First, everyone randomally stayed for a few days at my house.
<SilentPsycho> Then a while afterwards I saw on the news that you and Slave Boy were missing, presumed dead.
<SilentPsycho> The police had found your bottles of lager, but not your bodies under the ice (for some reason you were living in Alaska)
<SilentPsycho> I burst into tears, thinking you're dead, then a few days later you climb in through my window, saying you had just had enough and ran away from the abuse of the woman.
<SilentPsycho> And Slave Boy appeared on the TV saying he was searching for you
<SilentPsycho> And you randomally started scattering crude oil around the house. Then the police came and you agreed to go with them, but then you climbed out of the window with Slave Boy, and ran into the Lion section (for some reason I was living in the middle of a safari park.)
<SilentPsycho> And then it just got confusing.
<SilentPsycho> Although, the annoying boy from a few houses down got eaten by a lion, so it wasn't all bad
<SilentPsycho> And I got to ride a tiger.
<SilentPsycho> I swear my subconcious is on drug most of the time.
<SilentPsycho> Drugs, even
<frazzmeister> o.0
#1639 · added 9 September 2010 · vote up / 8 / vote down - from #social
<frazzmeister> I have to find a shirt because i need to piss!
<frazzmeister> ...that sounds weird
<frazzmeister> i dont mean i'm going to piss into a shirt
<frazzmeister> i mean there are people unworthy of my boobs between me and the pissing location.
<CookingPsycho> Heheheheh.
<frazzmeister> ...i made ity worse?
<CookingPsycho> :D
<frazzmeister> IM GOING TO URINATE NOW
* CookingPsycho snuggles frazzy
<frazzmeister> ,,i mean going as in relocating to the correct place, not as in i'm actually just going to piss right now in this place and time.
<frazzmeister> ....
<frazzmeister> I should not talk.
#1645 · added 15 September 2010 · vote up / 11 / vote down - from #create
* lewjen puts a condom on his head and pretends to be a chicken
<LeeFish> sigh
<lewjen> sighWHUT!?
<LeeFish> Its a plastic glove you use you daft idjit
#1646 · added 15 September 2010 · vote up / 4 / vote down - from #social
<renske> hp, you DO know that J is ambitious, dedicated and a real go-getter, yes? :D
<renske> after each orgasm he asks 'ok, now are you REALLY satisfied?'
<renske> \o/
<renske> now i am done bragging.
<HystericalParoxysm> Are there spreadsheets where he has you rate his performance on several key criteria, and then he graphs his improvement over time?
<renske> zomg hp he would totally get off on that.
<renske> i would pin them over the headboard and point at them during sex..
<renske> ok so now i need a blackboard and a pointing laser.
<renske> OR touch-sensitive bedding that makes a winamp-visualization-like image of the sex.
<renske> also a touch sensitive couch
<HystericalParoxysm> And whale sounds.
<renske> HUMPback whales?
#1648 · added 18 September 2010 · vote up / 8 / vote down - from #social
<Renske> *sigh* i want to pimp my bike now.
<Renske> but i cant because i just bought a winter goat and new jeans
<Renske> *coat
<Renske> i dont have room for a goat
<whiteybook> Is a winter goat different from a summer goat?
<Renske> i think it's warmer?
<Renske> thicker.
<Renske> even thicker than a regular goat.
<frazzmeister> THICK GOAT
<Renske> and goats are quite thick anyway.
<whiteybook> How do you know how warm it is? -.0
<Renske> D:
<Renske> fyi, my new goat is really nice.
<Renske> COAT DAMMIT
#1649 · added 18 September 2010 · vote up / 4 / vote down - from #social
<LinuxFrenchie> I forgot how to get that azerty kb layout
<LinuxFrenchie> Dqmmit